There would be no need for faith if we could predict where we’d be next.
There would be no need for trust if it was always making sense.
The whole point is not being able to see what comes next.
And to trust that all of these experiences are necessary steps.
“…This is a faith journey...” [06.12.21]
This is what I often have to remind myself.
Sometimes I get wrapped up in planning for the future and stepping into my purpose, that I forget that not all the dots are going to be connected. Not everything about my past and current circumstances are going to add up to perfection in the grand scheme of my reason for being.
There were a lot of times where I couldn't make the connection between the memories of all of life’s experiences and where I thought I was going. I wanted answers and clear targets. I kept thinking, “Father, I’ll go exactly where you want me to, just show me the vision. Tell me the process.”
But Our Father doesn’t tell us all the details. We just have to go through the wilderness like His Son did.
And even though it doesn’t make it any less frustrating, I believe that sometimes God requires that we level up in ways that we don’t realize we need to. Sometimes those ‘ways’ include experiences that we'd rather not go through.
Maybe the frustration we face when rigidly planning for and trying to figure out the uncontrollable future serves as a blessing in disguise: to force us to cherish the present moments before they slip away. I can’t help but think that that’s what life will be as our journey unfolds - moments lived into faded memories. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day as we’re living it, is simultaneously becoming a memory, regardless of whether or not we’ll remember it, regardless of whether or not we’ll cherish it. And when we’re not engaged in the necessary tasks in our lives, there’s something about the profound simplicity of dwelling in the present moment that I’ve always found fascinating.
I have come to accept that my purpose, like the present moment, is constantly unfolding. The more that I focus on what’s in front of me, the less time I spend dwelling on what I didn’t get or what I haven’t done yet. And I’ve found that cherishing the present moment helps immensely with practicing patience: a necessary virtue for the faith journey and a topic that has been frequently resurfacing in my life over the past two years.
I like planning. However, I think patience requires that we learn how to strike a balance between planning and acceptance.
I believe every moment of my life - the grand and the seemingly insignificant, the joyful and the painful, the confusing and the beautiful, are all interconnected in a realm by a divine plan that exists beyond human understanding.
I’ve accepted that.
I understand how internally conflicting a walk of faith can be when as a species we need things to be satisfyingly sensible - no gaps, no unanswered questions, no unexplanable mysteries too vast for us to comprehend.
But as most of us are aware, God works in mysterious ways.
And as I've come to accept, we can’t figure out His ways.
That’s why we rely on faith.